Changing Your Vibe When You Feel in Conflict

This subject has been coming up a bit over the last week. What to do if you feel in conflict in relationships – with children, partner, work colleagues, friends  - whoever.

I’m sure we all know the feeling – you start to get stuck into the negatives and all the things that seem to be “wrong” in the relationship. You start an expectation that the things that displease you WILL happen – as we know, thus increasing their chances of happening!!! I remember a friend once describing, how she used to be so angry when she came home from work that her 17 year old daughter hadn’t turned the heating on, so the house would be cold. She could hear herself talking to herself about this on her way home from work – and the first thing she did  when she walked in the door, was to touch the radiator to see if it was hot! Of course, it never was – she was right everytime!!  When I hear that story, I can almost feel how hard it would be for the daughter to put on the heating – when her mother had such a powerful expectation and vibe that the heating wasn’t going to be on!!!!

Of course –  it’s much easier for me to see this so clearly in relation to someone else’s life than it is to my own!!!! Funny that, how we have blind spots about ourselves and our own manifesting of things we “don’t want”!!.

I was listening to Paul and the Communion of Light about relationships the other day and they were talking about bringing your focus to an kind of appreciation if you are having difficulties in a relationship. Sometimes, it can feel like too big a step to appreciate the person that you are having difficulties with  - although this is something that I have heard before, and it can just seem too much. But to bring SOME appreciation into your vibration can really help you to make the shift to where you want to be – and  your motivation in anything is always to feel better, even if that’s not a great feeling.

Anyway, I have found it really helpful to use the appreciation exercise. You start with things around you – anything you can see physically.

So it may be something like this:

 I really appreciate my car – it’s amazing that I can travel so many miles so quickly. It’s so reliable. I just sit in and it starts. It makes it so easy for me to do things – I can bring the dogs for great walks that it would be really hard to get to without the car. I can work in places I wouldn’t be able to work without a car. I can travel with children and friends and go to see shows and other things.  and on and on and on.

 I really appreciate my ipod. It’s amazing that a tiny piece of metal can give to access to wonderful, inspiring talks and people to listen to wherever I am. I can always choose to be inspired. I can listen to music that I want to easily. There is SO  much music out there – isn’t it wonderful that so many people are inspired to make and record such great sounds.

Can you feel the energy shifting already?? I can even as I write it.

Then when the time feels right you can start to shift to people – start with people that it’s easy to appreciate and  really milk what you appreciate about them:

    I really appreciate my friend Lucy. She’s so thoughtful and kind. She’s funny and we always have such a great laugh together. She;s so hospitable, and I feel really at home in her house. I know that I can call her about anything and talk to her. etc, etc.

DO the same with a few more people. From time to time think about the person you are having difficulty with, and see if you can find anything to appreciate about them. If you can great – let the appreciation vibe flow to them. If not – think of someone or something else that you can more easily appreciate.

There’s no rush  or hurry, nowhere to get to. Just bask in appreciation as much as you can, and be open to what happens.

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