What is my role in my relationships with others?

Relationships are great for throwing up contrasts and things that  can feel a bit thorny. Whether they’re relationships with partners,lovers, parents,  children, work colleagues, clients – they are all very juicy and great places to get to really know your true self.

The closer you are to your true self – the easier relationships feel. The further away you are, the thornier, they seem. And if you’re anything like me, at times you can feel as if you have been catapulted way, away from your true self when some kind of old relationship pattern shows. I’ll be going along feeling really great, and then something will happen that will jar with me and I’ll find myself acting in ways I thought I’d left behind me. In some ways, the more time, i spend feeling closer to my true self, the greater the reaction can seem and the more intense my feelings. They seem to be clearer and more direct – and then they’re gone.

What I’ve found, is that my role in any relationship is threefold:

1. to keep my focus on what I want. How do I want this relationship to be – how do I want to feel in it? How do I want to feel in relation to my child, my lover, my partner, my parent, my clients, my colleagues. When I feel myself focussing on what I’m not liking – guess what? I’ll get more of what I don’t want. When I turn my attention to what I do want, I get more of what I do want. Law of Attraction in action. The quicker, I can my focus back to what I do want, the quicker, I’ll get  what I do want. Sometimes, it can be too hard to do that straight away, so then I’ll go to step 2.
2. I’ll reach for whatever feels better from where I am. Not for what feels good – for what feels better. Sometimes it feels better to feel angry, or jealous. That doesn’t always necessarily feel good – but it feels better. it’s looking after my own vibration – and I have to be where I am, not where I think I ought to be. I used to get hung up on that a lot – trying to mask my feelings because I thought I should be feeling positive – and I see a lot of other people doing the same. What I’ve learnt, is that the more honest I am with myself about how I feel – even if I don’t like it – the easier it is for me to move through it.  When I really let myself feel it – it can move on. You can do it on your own, or in front of others, whatever feels better to you.It may that it feels better to go for a walk, to pet the cat, to play some music – do whatever feels better to you – only you will know what that is.
3. Focus on the positive aspects of the person you are having difficulties with. Even if it’s one thing – really appreciate that. If there are more, let them flow, and really feel them. Let the LOVE flow – there is always love, even when you are very powerfully not liking something!! Find the feeling of love wherever you can, and keep your focus there as much as you can. If you drift away from it – don’t beat yourself up (that’s not love!!!) – as soon as you can, get back to some love.

The only thing that you can do in any relationship , is to look after your own vibration and to focus on how you want things to be and the things that are there that you appreciate . There’s nothing else you can do!!

How does that work for you in your relationships?

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