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What is my role in my relationships with others?
Posted by: | CommentsRelationships are great for throwing up contrasts and things that can feel a bit thorny. Whether they’re relationships with partners,lovers, parents, children, work colleagues, clients – they are all very juicy and great places to get to really know your true self.
The closer you are to your true self – the easier relationships feel. The further away you are, the thornier, they seem. And if you’re anything like me, at times you can feel as if you have been catapulted way, away from your true self when some kind of old relationship pattern shows. I’ll be going along feeling really great, and then something will happen that will jar with me and I’ll find myself acting in ways I thought I’d left behind me. In some ways, the more time, i spend feeling closer to my true self, the greater the reaction can seem and the more intense my feelings. They seem to be clearer and more direct – and then they’re gone.
What I’ve found, is that my role in any relationship is threefold:
- to keep my focus on what I want. How do I want this relationship to be – how do I want to feel in it? How do I want to feel in relation to my child, my lover, my partner, my parent, my clients, my colleagues. When I feel myself focussing on what I’m not liking – guess what? I’ll get more of what I don’t want. When I turn my attention to what I do want, I get more of what I do want. Law of Attraction in action. The quicker, I can my focus back to what I do want, the quicker, I’ll get what I do want. Sometimes, it can be too hard to do that straight away, so then I’ll go to step 2.
- I’ll reach for whatever feels better from where I am. Not for what feels good – for what feels better. Sometimes it feels better to feel angry, or jealous. That doesn’t always necessarily feel good – but it feels better. it’s looking after my own vibration – and I have to be where I am, not where I think I ought to be. I used to get hung up on that a lot – trying to mask my feelings because I thought I should be feeling positive – and I see a lot of other people doing the same. What I’ve learnt, is that the more honest I am with myself about how I feel – even if I don’t like it – the easier it is for me to move through it. When I really let myself feel it – it can move on. You can do it on your own, or in front of others, whatever feels better to you.It may that it feels better to go for a walk, to pet the cat, to play some music – do whatever feels better to you – only you will know what that is.
- Focus on the positive aspects of the person you are having difficulties with. Even if it’s one thing – really appreciate that. If there are more, let them flow, and really feel them. Let the LOVE flow – there is always love, even when you are very powerfully not liking something!! Find the feeling of love wherever you can, and keep your focus there as much as you can. If you drift away from it – don’t beat yourself up (that’s not love!!!) – as soon as you can, get back to some love.
The only thing that you can do in any relationship , is to look after your own vibration and to focus on how you want things to be and the things that are there that you appreciate . There’s nothing else you can do!!
How does that work for you in your relationships?
Make the mundane magical and the magical mundane
Posted by: | CommentsI am listening to a recording from the Communion of Light where someone was asking a question about how to line up with their vision of where they want to be financially.
I loved the answer which talked about how we tend to make the things that we want but don’t have magical – and the things that we have as mundane – no matter how magical they might have been to us at one time. They suggested switching this and meeting in the middle somewhere.
I know the ways in which I can do this, and have written about it before. When something manifests that I have wanted for a long time, I celebrate for a while – but very soon, I take it for granted. I have changed a lot over the last ten years, and do spend much more of my time in a state of appreciation – but I am still often amazed at how I treat the magical as mundane – when I have it!!!
I was cleaning the bathroom just after listening to the call. Not one of most enjoyable tasks usually, and I have been known to do it with a negative attitude!! Today, I had more reason to not feel good, as I had hoped to have a new cleaner starting to help with some of those tasks, I don’t like so much, but she couldn’t come at the last minute! Anyway, having just heard the call, I decided to see the magical in what was very mundane to me – without trying hard, I could really experience how magical it is to turn a tap and have hot water coming out of it (my house is 200 years old, and for most of it’s life, didn’t have internal running water of any kind!), my body responded magical to my thoughts and moved exactly as I wanted it to, I had the radio on and could listen to interesting things whilst cleaning, I have a shower and a bath tub which I use daily without thinking. I really enjoyed the cleaning, and felt the magic. I imagined I was my great grandmother, and what she would make of it all.
The internet is a great example to me of how I treat the magical as mundane. When I first got dial up in 1999, I thought I’d loose my mind in the process!!! – I have a Mac and no-one in support knew anything about Mac’s, so couldn’t help. It took about 2 weeks and felt very stressful ( I wasn’t aware of the Law of Attraction then, and can see now that my thoughts about it didn’t help one iota!!). Eventually I got connected and it was amazing – to be able to access so much information. After a few weeks I took it for granted and got frustrated by how slow it was!! I live in a remote area, so broadband was slow to arrive here – an angel in the phone company got us onto broadband when it seemed impossible. I still am VERY appreciative of that – but still often get frustrated that it’s very slow!! Then I realise how magical it is, that I can sit with a piece of metal on my lap on the Western most extreme of Europe and speak to people all over the world!!
So I have manifested many magical things, and they seem so mundane. The mundane things in my life are magical. Anything I want to manifest will one day be mundane to me – it’s the way it happens. So, if I can see it as mundane now – won’t that seem easier to manifest and take some of the charge off? I’m going to play with this a bit.
I love the idea of focussing on the few weeks or months after you have manifested something – rather than the time you receive it. It brings in more of that “mundane” vibe. So if you want a new car – visualise yourself in it, when you’ve had it for a few months – not as you just pick it up form the garage. If you want more clients – visualise yourself after you’ve been working with them for a few weeks.
I’d love to hear what you think of this, and what experiences you have of it.
As
A week in the Garden – good vibrations!!
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The Front Garden
I’ve just spent most of the week in the garden – planting 300 bushes and shrubs around the perimeter of our large, exposed, seaside garden. It’s been fabulous for so many reasons:
- to be moving my body for hours each day – especially after the long winter months when I’ve been on the computer a lot of the time.
- to be out in the fresh air
- to have my hands in the earth – as a Taurean, I love the earth and always feel an immediate change when I have my hands in earth.
- to feel the sun on my back – for most of the week……..
- …………… and today to feel the soft rain on my face
- to see the bushes in the ground and imagine them when they are in full bloom – and all the generations who will see and enjoy them after we’re gone.
- the beautiful long, hot baths with beautiful bath salts which I’ve really enjoyed deeply, and really felt that I deserved them.
- the deep sleeps from the great tiredness.
and the great thing is that I’ve also done quite of coaching, I’ve done other work on my business and I’ve listened to great calls.
Another really good thing is that things have been flowing to me , whilst I was happily in the garden – money I wasn’t expecting, donations from appreciative readers, offers to work with other people I really like, great comments and feedback. All have come without me thinking about them, because I have been doing what I wanted to do and really enjoying it – and feeling really appreciative for the life that allows me to do it.
That’s the Law of Attraction in action – when you’re in a good vibe place and just doing the things that feel good to you and are really appreciating everything – you are in an allowing place, and things flow easily to you.
The funny thing is, for a couple of years I haven’t spent as much time in the garden as I like – it’s seemed hard to get there. I can really feel that something has changed now, and I know I’m going to be spending a lot of time there this year. The bushes feel like my babies now, so I have to go and talk to them all the time!!!
What do you love to do that
Your way is the right way.
Posted by: | CommentsI had a great day yesterday. I collected seaweed at the beach to put on the garden to grow the spuds. I’v been talking about doing it for a few years but never did – so it feels great to have done it. I can still remember when I moved to Ireland 20 years ago and someone invited me for dinner and gave me some of their home grown potatoes, which they’d fertilised with seaweed – the taste was divine!!! My taste buds still go mad when I think of them.
Anyway, I had an insight about when I was doing it, I thought I’d share. I was collecting the seaweed with my friend JP, who’s a farmer and much more used to heaving heavy bags around than I am. We had great fun bagging up the seaweed and had about 30 bags filled. To get the best, we were doing it at low tide, and were quite a way from where the car was parked.
JP and our seaweed collection
When it came to carrying the bags back up to the car, I could feel my heart sink, as it looked a long way and the bags were heavy. I realised that what felt much better to me was to do it in 3 stages – to take them all up to the tide line, then up to take then all up to the rocks and then up to the car. I felt a sense of achievement each time i got all the bags to each place, I knew I could manage it and none of it felt overwhelming. JP was happy to move the bags in the same way, so we did it together in three stages, chatting as we went, and the time flew.
Someone else might have found that way laborious and felt that it made it much more prolonged and felt really frustrated with it. They’d have preferred to do it all in one go. And I know that it will always feel much more relaxing to me to be with someone who is doing things their way.
Someone else might have come up with a way of doing it that I haven’t even thought of. I might have watched them and thought I’d give their way a try and have found that I prefer it to my own way.
None of it matters – as long as you are doing things the way that feels best to you. We each have our own way and different things that are challenging. Going at your own pace and doing things in your way – being true to yourself, is the most important thing. When you know that you are being yourself, and not someone else’s version of you, or trying to fit into other people’s rhythm, everything gets much easier.
Oprah and Good Vibrations
Posted by: | CommentsHere is a great conversation I just heard for the first time between Oprah and Esther Hicks. It was a long conversation, and this is the last part.
I like it in particular for 2 reasons – firstly, they’re talking about Channelling and how strange that can be for people. I used to feel it was weird too, and still do in some ways, although I absolutely love talking with Paul and the Communion of Light, and find their insights amazing and really helpful. I think I’m at the stage of believing without fully understanding – a very different place than I was even a few years ago.
The second reason I really like it is because in this part, they talk a lot about us as vibrational beings – which is why our thinking effects our reality so much. Have a listen to it – you’ll even get to hear Oprah sing a snatch of Good Vibrations!! I thought that was pretty cool.
The Law of Attraction and Making Marmalade!
Posted by: | CommentsAs I was saying yesterday, I spent the day making marmalade – a very relaxing, reflective thing to do.I had a lot of insights about the Law of Attraction, and how everything came together to in perfect ways for me to be in that moment.
Here are some of the things I noticed.
In 2009 my very good friend Lucy, asked me if I wanted to go to Seville, in Spain, for the Easter celebrations. As in a lot of Spanish towns, they have a week long celebration of Easter, with large statues of Mary, Jesus and other being carried through the narrow streets of the town. I jumped at the chance – although I knew nothing about Seville, apart from that was where the oranges come from that my mum used to make marmalade from.
Semana Santa Seville
So, we looked into how to get there, accommodation etc and it turned out to be difficult and very expensive to go there in Easter Week (Semana Santa) – a lot of tourists go.So we decided to go the week before. We booked an apartment in the city, flew out to a town nearby and got a lift to the city with friends. When we arrived at our apartment it wasn’t quite as we expected – darker, older, dirtier. The location was great though, and we thought we could make the most of it if we moved things around a bit (no resistance). We were just about to unpack, when we thought we’d ring the letting agent to see if they had anything else. She immediately upgraded us to another apartment – a much more expensive one, but for the same price. Newly renovated, great location, very helpful friendly landlord!!! We loved it.
We had a fabulous five days there – walked for miles through the wonderful streets, ate the most delicious tapas ( I can still taste some of them if I think about them!) The time that we were there, there weren’t too many tourist, so we had lots of room. We went on a fascinating walking tour of the city, and there were only four of us there, so we could ask any questions we wanted. We learnt all about Seville oranges, and I remember standing under the orange groves, remembering the smells in the house when my mother was making marmalade saying “I’d love to make marmalade” (and then I forgot all about it!
Orange Grove Walkway, Seville
We were so happy that we were there the week before Easter, and not for the very busy week of Easter. We experienced all the feelings of excitement and anticipation as the Statues were brought out of storage and put out on display in the churches. We saw the men practising parading thought the streets carrying the statues, heard the bands practising, sensed the feelings of anticipation. It was wonderful.
Back to the marmalade……….
As I said – I thought I’d love to make some, and immediately forgot about it, until last week, when I was driving down a street I never drive down, in a town that I’m not in very often and I saw a big sign in the window saying SEVILLE ORANGES now in stock – they are only available for a few weeks each year. I stopped the car and went in - the shopkeeper told me it had been really hard to get hold of them this year and she had only just put the gign up. I filled up my bag with oranges, lemons and grapefruits. The smell filling the car and bringing me back to Seville. It felt as if the universe had remembered what I had forgotten I wanted, and arranged it all for me. (which is of course, how things happen all the time).
So yesterday, I made the marmalade, and the house was filled with the beautiful smells of the fruit and sugar. I was full of happy memories of my childhood and appreciation to my mother for giving me those memories. My dad always used to help my mum with the jarring up etc, and I was remembering this very happily. My partner, has never expressed any interest in making marmalade, or had any experience of it – he happily came and helped me in the busy stage of jarring it and putting the lids on. We had a very pleasant experience together – more than I could have imagined.
Interestingly, I came down this morning to find that the marmalade hasn’t set properly – it’s too runny. It tastes DELICIOUS, but isn’t very practical to store or keep ( I’m confident, that I’ll find a way to resolve this easily). I’ve been really interested to notice that I’m not upset by that – I enjoyed the process so much, that nothing could take that away. I loved seeing all the ways that the Universe had helped arrange things. I know it’s a small thing – but it’s great to see the Law of Attraction at work in the small things – I think that really helps to align myself up with the bigger things. Breadcrumbs, Positive Evidences – whatever you like to call them.
What signs is the Universe giving you that it is arranging things for you? What desires have you expressed in the past, which are now coming true for you? Have fun seeing what ways things are showing up for you. How does your vibration feel when you think of all the delicious ways that things are lining up for you?
Changing Your Vibe When You Feel in Conflict
Posted by: | CommentsThis subject has been coming up a bit over the last week. What to do if you feel in conflict in relationships – with children, partner, work colleagues, friends - whoever.
I’m sure we all know the feeling – you start to get stuck into the negatives and all the things that seem to be “wrong” in the relationship. You start an expectation that the things that displease you WILL happen – as we know, thus increasing their chances of happening!!! I remember a friend once describing, how she used to be so angry when she came home from work that her 17 year old daughter hadn’t turned the heating on, so the house would be cold. She could hear herself talking to herself about this on her way home from work – and the first thing she did when she walked in the door, was to touch the radiator to see if it was hot! Of course, it never was – she was right everytime!! When I hear that story, I can almost feel how hard it would be for the daughter to put on the heating – when her mother had such a powerful expectation and vibe that the heating wasn’t going to be on!!!!
Of course – it’s much easier for me to see this so clearly in relation to someone else’s life than it is to my own!!!! Funny that, how we have blind spots about ourselves and our own manifesting of things we “don’t want”!!.
I was listening to Paul and the Communion of Light about relationships the other day and they were talking about bringing your focus to an kind of appreciation if you are having difficulties in a relationship. Sometimes, it can feel like too big a step to appreciate the person that you are having difficulties with - although this is something that I have heard before, and it can just seem too much. But to bring SOME appreciation into your vibration can really help you to make the shift to where you want to be – and your motivation in anything is always to feel better, even if that’s not a great feeling.
Anyway, I have found it really helpful to use the appreciation exercise. You start with things around you – anything you can see physically.
So it may be something like this:
I really appreciate my car – it’s amazing that I can travel so many miles so quickly. It’s so reliable. I just sit in and it starts. It makes it so easy for me to do things – I can bring the dogs for great walks that it would be really hard to get to without the car. I can work in places I wouldn’t be able to work without a car. I can travel with children and friends and go to see shows and other things. and on and on and on.
I really appreciate my ipod. It’s amazing that a tiny piece of metal can give to access to wonderful, inspiring talks and people to listen to wherever I am. I can always choose to be inspired. I can listen to music that I want to easily. There is SO much music out there – isn’t it wonderful that so many people are inspired to make and record such great sounds.
Can you feel the energy shifting already?? I can even as I write it.
Then when the time feels right you can start to shift to people – start with people that it’s easy to appreciate and really milk what you appreciate about them:
I really appreciate my friend Lucy. She’s so thoughtful and kind. She’s funny and we always have such a great laugh together. She;s so hospitable, and I feel really at home in her house. I know that I can call her about anything and talk to her. etc, etc.
DO the same with a few more people. From time to time think about the person you are having difficulty with, and see if you can find anything to appreciate about them. If you can great – let the appreciation vibe flow to them. If not – think of someone or something else that you can more easily appreciate.
There’s no rush or hurry, nowhere to get to. Just bask in appreciation as much as you can, and be open to what happens.
Twitter Updates for 2010-10-22
Posted by: | Comments- EU Initiative April 2011 to severely restrict the use of homeopathic and herbal medicine. Keep your freedom to choose. http://bit.ly/aAE7Dp #
A wonderful sight
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I opened my curtains this morning and saw a fox walking up the middle of the road!! I live in the countryside, so it’s not a busy road, but it was a wonderful sight.
I love foxes. I know they have a bad press, and I don’t keep chickens, so I don’t have to deal with the carnage they can wreak. I just love their energy, and their spirit. It felt like such a blessing to see one. If I am lucky enough to catch a glimpse of one jumping over a ditch in my headlights as I drive home at night – it always feels like a magical night. It’s a such a vibe lifter for me.
A few months ago, I found a young fox lying outside the house, stunned and scared. I gave it some water and then went in to call the vet. When I came back, the fox was gone. I was wondering if this was the same fox come back……
My dog Bella, who recently died, looked so much like a fox at times, that I love them even more!
As the fox was walking away from the house, down the middle of the road, I called out to it “Bella, Bella” – and it stopped and looked back at me, twice!!! It was amazing.
I have no clue, what the connection is, or if there is one – except that as we are all connected, I know there must be one!
I just know with that start – it’s going to be a good day!
What signs and signals and vibe lifters have you experienced?
Do You Take What You Manifest for Granted?
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Thanks to Erik for the photo – it’s a great vibe shifter around money!!!